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Richie
Posted 12 years ago
טבעת

play until end: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdJH7Y56c7Y

->My name given by the great and almighty אדוני is Joshua Benjamin Goldstein-Greenburg, aged 34 years. I am a banker and a part time real-estate agent and part-part time lawyer (I usually only do lawyer work when it involves accidents and personal injuries like slipping on wet floors). I generally spend most of my time at the bank I work at, either counting money or harrassing customers by taking my time when serving them. I have moved away from my family to the great and prosperous land of the original American gold rush: California; in hope of finding a fortune. I ventured to California with my cousin Jerome Rutkowski Goldberg-Goldstein, aged 29 years. My story begins one morning when I recieve a phone call regarding my cousin.
->ZZZZZT...ZZZZZT...
"That's my phone." I said to myself. I flip open my tracfone I was able to purchase for cheap sum of $9.87 off of the internet, as Wal*Mart, which is actually now run by my 7th cousin once removed Ishmael, was far too expensive for my tastes. I see on my phone's lcd display that I have missed a call from Rabbi Finklestein. Rabbi Finklestein is a very close friend and mentor of myself and my family. Rabbi Finklestein was the one who removed ערלה my with his teeth and was my Rabbi for my Bar Mitzvah, l'chaim!
"I better call him back now." I mumbled to myself. 310-4$8-6690.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I have been diagnosed with a condition that makes me percieve every numeral "5" as a "$". My doctor said it was called "Jüdischesciosis".

"Rabbi Finklestein? Are you there?" I inquired.




I am stopping for now, there will be another part soon.
like in 22 hours. but 22 hours might not be "soon" for some because patience varies among people.
Anon
Posted 12 years ago
at what point is this funny or intersting
Hiduko
Posted 12 years ago
Wow, you're really funny Richie.
Richie
Posted 12 years ago
traces it's time

ten mads
traces
Posted 12 years ago
fucking lol'd
Richie
Posted 12 years ago
there is a hidden message in plain sight that isn't hidden to vision i think but to YOUR MOND

like colors and stuff
Bitch
Posted 12 years ago
I GET IT YOU POINTED OUT JEWISH STEREOTYPES AND STUFF OLOL U SEW FUNNIE
Richie
Posted 12 years ago
gold is gold green is money and red is jew related things
Erik_Revolution
Posted 12 years ago
Keep going, don't you stop now.
saltyfish
Posted 12 years ago
Did you Write this yourself richie, or is it a copypasta?

either way, it is pretty good.
Richie
Posted 12 years ago
predict delays in releases, things have come up

also it will be back with 100% less color, it is annoying to read with color (think about the colorblind children!)

and it's not copypasta, salty
Bitch
Posted 12 years ago
it is the story of richie's life i always knew he was a jew
saltyfish
Posted 12 years ago
I'm slightly impressed, I didn't know you were capable of writing something funny.
Erik_Revolution
Posted 12 years ago
Bumping this because the new fiction posts are really boring.
Richie
Posted 12 years ago
i want to revive fiction

i also have another more boring non-fiction story that just happened (the reason why jewstory isn't progressing)

can you write non-fiction in wetfiction?
Richie
Posted 12 years ago
"you" as in "I"
shi
Posted 12 years ago
you may write about anything you've written yourselves in fiction.
Richie
Posted 12 years ago
Today marks an important step towards a safer country for everyone as we have finally passed the offensive act of weightlifting. No longer will people be allowed to train their bodies excessively in order to become stronger to intimidate and harass others. In addition to banning outright weightlifting, it is also forbidden for anyone to carry more than 50 lbs of anything by themselves, so encourage those you know to gather a group to perform acts like moving furniture. Also make sure to report anyone you might suspect of violating any of these provisions at +44-02-STOP-LIFT.
Bitch
Posted 12 years ago
I have reported the proper authorities of Felix's atrocious and offensive behaviour.
Yukarin
Posted 12 years ago
you should be arrested for lifting your arms, they're over 200 pounds each, amber.
Richie
Posted 12 years ago
oh shit
Bitch
Posted 12 years ago
I was young and reckless! I didn't know what I was doing!
jellybean
Posted 11 years ago
To your professed bosoms I commit him~
jellybean
Posted 10 years ago
um what
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